The 2013 Brando Awards

The Academy Awards, or the Oscars as they’re known by some, is a time honored tradition in the world of cinema, dating back to 1929 and known throughout the world for not only the incredible drama of the night; but also the pomp and circumstance that goes along with them, including all of the fashion and the red carpet politics.  This one special night exists so that by the end of the evening, the best of the best of that year in film can be properly honored and the most deserving nominee rightfully takes home the statuette.

Yeah, we’re done being serious about this.

There is so much wrong with the Academy Awards that I could fill another entire article with the problems that beset them (and I might, so please feel free to give me your thoughts in the comment section, and I’ll then pass them off as my own), but let’s face it; despite how ridiculously subjective this awards show can be, it’s still the gold standard for cinema, even though we all know that the Academy sometimes gives out these things for all the wrong reasons.  Here’s a quick list of faulty justifications: “The Academy owes it to the actor” (Paul Newman - “The Color of Money”), “No one will expect this pick, and it will show that we’re not predictable” (Marisa Tomei – “My Cousin Vinny”), “We shafted them last year, so we should  give them one this year” (Renee Zellweger – “Cold Mountain”), “It’s a historic win” (Halle Berry – “Monster’s Ball”), and so on.

And even though all these reasons and more permeate the Academy Awards, you’ll never see a trailer with an Academy Award winner in it that fails to mention that fact.  And why is that?  Because we still value the moniker “Academy Award Winner” as it offers us a quick Cliffs Notes version of what was the best of that year in cinema.  We love Oscar winners, even to the extent that it can make or break a film for us.  In fact, we love them so much that an actor can literally rewrite their contract once they’ve won one (Jamie Foxx - “Ray”).

So, with the Academy Awards coming up this Sunday, I am secure in the knowledge that the Academy has most of the important topics covered in the world of film.  Is it just me or is Ben Affleck not set up to have the easiest night of all? He doesn’t have to worry about whether or not he’ll win, and he can cruise every after-party saying the exact same thing, “Yeah, I don’t know why I wasn’t nominated either, crazy huh?” Plus he can be secure in the knowledge that in less than five years, he will win a Best Director award (although an argument can be made that he’s headed that way all on his own). But as I gear up for yet another Oscars, I can’t help but feel that there is a category or two that the Academy is not giving its full attention to.  Sure, they’ve got things like Best Costume Design and Best Score under control, but that doesn’t cover the entire spectrum of film, my friends.  So, I guess it’s up to me to take up the slack!

So here they are, The 2013 Brando Awards: 

(Say it with me, just once, “And the Brando goes to…”)

BEST TRAILER: “Man of Steel” (Second Trailer)

In what should be a legitimate category for the Academy by any measure, this trailer hits every note perfect and is so good that it went viral and took the world by storm.  And why not love it?  Perhaps it spends a little too much time being vague and somber for a comic book movie, but Superman is a broad character and he deserves that kind of treatment.  My favorite moment is the exchange between a young Clark and his dad Jonathan Kent (Kevin Costner) where the child asks the father if he should let innocent people die just to conceal his identity, to which Jonathan responds, “Maybe…” This highlights my favorite point about Superman, that there is nothing that requires him to do the things that he does, he just simply does them.  Superman could literally make planet Earth bow down to him within twenty minutes if he put his mind to it, and instead he chooses to help out.  Way to take it there, Zack Snyder.

BEST LOCATION SCOUT: “Savages”

      

Oliver Stone’s drug-laden crime opus had a lot of potential, and unfortunately it only capitalized on a small portion of it.  The book the film was based upon was a hard hitting tale of crime and bloodshed in the vein of Elmore Leonard; however, Stone had to reduce some of the more compelling plot points for on screen cohesiveness and the resulting story was a little bit lacking.  But while the film itself creaks like a rusty gate in some places (someone seriously needs to re-watch the dailies of Taylor Kitsch’s “acting”), nothing can be taken away from the gorgeous scenery that fills the back ground of shot after shot of this film.  Done on location almost entirely in Newport Beach, it’s a shame that these morons don’t realize how great they have it living a life against such a wonderful backdrop.

BEST HOT CHICK GETTING SEXED UP FOR NO REASON: Berenice Marlohe – “Skyfall”

Bond is known for certain things: he kills ruthlessly, he drinks excessively, and he beds anything with a pulse.  However, and I don’t normally like to ask these types of questions about a James Bond film, why is this girl in this film at all?  Bond meets her at the high priced casino (right before he fights a CGI komodo dragon, really Sam Mendes?), and in moments he deduces that a) she is the only one that can take him to the bad guy and b) she’s desperate for help and in way over her head. So he does what Bond does best, whips everyone’s ass and then hops on her boat for a free ride to the bad guy’s private island.  In route, Bond interrupts her shower so they can have a perfectly natural silhouetted sex scene only so she can be killed off in less than ten minutes of screen time in order to prove that the bad guy is like, really, really bad.  We don’t have to feel too bad about her not making it to the closing credits alive however, because she was never really developed as anything other than a hot mess.  I know it’s a Bond film and they’ve got to push that PG-13 rating as far as it can go, but this chick was getting sexed up for no reason.

BEST FLASHBACK CASTING: Josh Pence as Young Ra’s Al Ghul – “The Dark Knight Rises”

There’s such a small market for correct flashback casting, however it’s such a double edged sword.   When it’s executed correctly, it can completely draw in the audience and add validity to the plot; but when it goes bad, it becomes laughable.  That’s why this one scene in The Dark Knight Rises stands out so much, because they completely made this guy look like a young Liam Neeson (granted that weird Ra’s goatee does a lot of the heavy lifting).  He’s only on screen for a total of two and a half minutes, but it completely ties the new back-story that the film is throwing at you to the old character that you’ve known about for over six years, and it does it all with a simple casting choice. 

BEST MUSTACHE: Scoot McNairy – “Argo”

Every period picture has to alter the fabric of the set to make it seem as though the story is unfolding in the time that it is placed in.  To that end, great pains are taken to make sure that the set is overloaded with objects and clothing that facilitate this (see the IMDB notes on “Titanic”).  However, once in a great while, one specific prop outshines everything else and tumbles the viewer back through time almost effortlessly.  And for this film, Scoot McNairy’s mustache is that prop.  I’m not even sure if it was synthetic or the actor’s own stock, all I know is by the image of his lip whiskers alone I believed it was 1979 and that smoking was a perfectly legitimate and healthy way to spend one’s time. That’s a film executing a period piece perfectly.

BEST CAMEO: The Cast of Street Fighter – “Wreck-It-Ralph”

The premise of this film is incredibly endearing, that our favorite video game characters all have feelings and can get burnt out like we all do from time to time.  The moment that made it for me (even though it was over played in the trailer) was when the guys from the video game Street Fighter show up to lament their lives in Ralph’s group therapy session.  If I have one question, it’s this: why is Zangief a bad guy? When that game debuted he was a playable character, and now all of the sudden he’s rubbing shoulders with M. Bison? No sir!  I mean, I’m as much of a fan of unchecked American swagger as the next guy (check out “Top Gun” now available on Blu-ray!), but I really think the Russian character might be getting the shaft on this one.

BEST RE-CASTING: Ralph Feinnes and Judi Dench as M – “Skyfall”

For most Bond fans of my generation, “GoldenEye” was probably the first Bond film that we saw in the theater, and therefore Pierce Brosnan was our first personal James Bond.  Little did we know the long and storied the legacy that Brosnan was inheriting, or how much of a difficult leap of faith it is to re-cast that role (we got to experience it back in October of 2005, when some dude named Craig took over).  But Brosnan wasn’t the only new face to join the mythos of Bond in that film, Dame Judi Dench made her debut as M as well.  And while some Bond purist decried this casting choice as pure affirmative action (a topic the 90’s Bond had some fun with), Dench’s M showed up immediately as Bond’s superior but also a sometimes mother figure (a trait that Craig’s Bond has embraced whole-heartedly). And through dismal sequel after dismal sequel, Brosnan and Dench had to keep their composure and play off one another again and again.  Once Daniel Craig took over the role of Bond, M became not only the unrivaled leader of MI-6, but also the anchor that the fans could latch on to during the transfer period between the actors, particularly throughout the first act of “Casino Royale”. 

Now that we’re three films into Craig’s tenure as Bond and he’s coming into the character full stride, the hands of time are catching up with everyone and it’s become apparent that Bond’s supporting cast needs to change as well.  With Dench departing from the role we all know and love, the producers wisely brought in a known actor to replace her, and gave him an entire film to establish himself in the universe.  Chucking his Harry Potter robes on the way in, Ralph Fiennes’ Gareth Mallory spends most of the first half of the film being a royal pain in the ass, completely unconnected from what it is that MI-6 does all day long.  Once the chips fall in M’s interrogation however, Fiennes jumps into the role, grabs himself a gun, and joins the side of the angels.  By the time Dench’s M passes away (in a fitting send off scene), Fiennes is ready to take her place in James Bond’s lore as the new M.  Well done, Mendes (sorry about that crack about the Komodo dragon).

So there they are the 2013 Brando Awards, covering the topics in film from the past year that really matter to you! 

Okay, I feel like I cheated you a little, and seeing as how the Oscars where in my opening, it would be mean of me not to throw in a few Oscar related comments at the end.  I’m not going to do predictions, I don’t decide that until the night of the awards themselves; but I will give you my picks for the best of all time in the major categories (and some of mine didn’t win on their Oscar night). 

BEST SCREENPLAY:  “Pulp Fiction”

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Frances McDormand – “Mississippi Burning”

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Ed Harris – “Apollo 13”

BEST ACTRESS: Jodie Foster – “The Silence of the Lambs”

BEST ACTOR: Al Pacino – “The Godfather: Part II”

BEST DIRECTOR: James Cameron – “Avatar”

BEST PICTURE: “Schindler’s List”

I’m guessing (and hoping) that this portion of the article will generate the most responses in the comments section, and I’m happy to defend my picks to anyone who wants to hash it out.  Until then, from all of us here at SpoilerAlert Podcast, please do your best to safely enjoy the Academy Awards.

“And the Oscar goes to…”