Kyle's Christmas Favorites

Well, it's that time of year again. The stockings are hung, the mistletoe is...hung and the decorations are...crap. Anyway, I thought I'd help kick off the holiday season with a list of a few favorites. Post your thoughts/hate mail in the comments section!

15.  A Christmas Story

It’s not a Christmas movie list without A Christmas Story. TBS has done its part ruining the luster of this classic, so you have to remember how good it used to be. I always felt superior because I already had a BB gun and had only been hit by a ricochet once (and not in the eye). My mom must have been a fan too, because I couldn’t go outside to shoot my gun without hearing “be careful or you’ll shoot your eye out.” Also, why didn’t our mall Santa have a cool slide like that? Has anyone ever seen anything like that?

14. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

It’s nowhere near as well done as the first Home Alone, but I can’t resist the exploits of Kevin McAllister and the Wet (now Sticky) Bandits. The best part of this movie was the Talk Boy, a walkman-like toy where you could record sounds and play them down marginally slower or slightly faster. My brother and I both got Talk Boys for Christmas that year and I thought it was just about the coolest thing ever. Also, I’ll always be a sucker for watching Marv and Harry tortured in Kevin’s house of traps.

13. The Christmas Toy


This was a made for TV movie out of Jim Henson’s studio in the early 90s, I think. This Muppet-like story was a fixture in the Radford household. Kermit makes a brief appearance at the beginning and end, but other than that, it’s all new puppet creations. The Christmas Toy was really the original Toy Story, showing what happens to children’s toys when the kids leave the room and the toys come alive. It’s Christmas time in the playroom and all of the toys are nervous as to what their owners will be getting for Christmas, fearing replacement (sound familiar). There’s a darker element here at work; if toys are seen alive by humans they freeze forever, essentially dying. Seeing one of the toys “die” and be carted off to the closet by the other toys killed me as a kid.

12. Batman Returns

Batman Returns hasn’t exactly stood the test of time. Upon re-viewing Burton’s second Batman film, it comes off a little stupid and very different from what we’ve all come to know as the Caped Crusader in recent years. That being said it’s still a very fun movie that happens around Christmas time. I know, I know, Christmas isn’t really the theme of Batman Returns, but I saw a chance to throw a Dark Knight reference in and I took it.

11. Gremlins

Gremlins proves that I’m not a total sap when it comes to Christmas movies. I think the fact that Joe Dante set this movie around Christmas is what makes it a classic to me. If you want to know the brilliance of Gremlins, just watch the scene where Phoebe Cates describes her special Christmas memory.

10. Love Actually

I’m a pansy, I know. I like this movie. I actually watch it a lot (that has more to do with Kayla than anything, but I’m not complaining). Not every storyline is interesting to me…I really couldn’t care less about Liam Neason’s dead wife…but every time Bill Nighy is onscreen I laugh. Just the thought of him calling himself “Uncle Bill” is making me smile right now. It’s a big, commercial holiday movie that was designed to make women get together and cry/laugh. Works on me too. 

9. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)

I think it’s the music and the animation that wins me over here. When I was younger, I don’t think I appreciated this movie as much as I do now. I just remember picking Rudolph over the Grinch to watch a lot. Of course, I didn’t like asparagus when I was a kid either. It was probably after seeing the TERRIBLE live action movie with Jim Carrey that made me appreciate the 60’s cartoon adaptation of Dr. Suess’ story. Let me be clear--I will never watch the Jim Carrey version again. 

8. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

I have no problem with the remake (although I’m not sure we needed one), but if I’m going to watch a take on this story, it’s the original. Here’s a movie that was made over 60 years ago and hasn’t aged a day. There’s a sweetness in Edmund Gwenn’s obviously mentally unstable Kris that didn’t quite make the translation to the modern remake. Either way, it’s a great story that makes me want to visit New York at Christmas. I'm also not too sure about the dubious legal precedence that's established at the end.

7. The Santa Clause

Tim Allen is a bad actor. He’s wooden, his dialog sounds like he’s reading it for the first time, and you always get the feeling that he’s laughing along with the joke. Somehow, the Santa Clause overcomes all of that with its charm and turns the tool man into Saint Nick. His transformation, makeup-wise, is pretty remarkable if you pay attention to it. Sure, the computer effects are dated, but the prosthetics believably turn a 40-year-old average Joe into Santa. Of course, that’s not why I love this movie. I’m just a fan of weenie whistles.

6. Elf

It’s no small feat to create a modern day holiday classic and Elf is just that. I don’t think anyone can deny that it’s hilarious and a perfect movie for the entire family. Will Farrell’s wide-eyed wonder plays perfect for the character of Buddy the Elf (what’s your favorite color?) as he navigates his way through NYC. Sure, it gets a little syrupy towards the end, but hey, it’s a kids’ movie. Besides, any chance to see Ed Asner as a grumpy Santa is welcome.

5. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Christmas Vacation is a holiday tradition in many households around the country, but it never was in mine. I had to move out of the house before this one ever became regular holiday viewing. I guess we stuck more to the kid-friendly standards in our house. No matter how I found this movie, once I did, I was hooked. The manic escapades of Clark W. Griswold only slightly exaggerate everyone’s holiday experience. We never cut down our own tree, and to my knowledge, my Uncle Johnny never kidnapped Dad’s boss but we did have lights that wouldn’t work, annoying relatives who overstayed their welcome and big, ridiculous sweaters.

4. The Nightmare Before Christmas

“Mind-warping crap.” That’s what my dad called The Nightmare Before Christmas when I told him that I wanted to see it. Lucky for me a group of us went to see it for Nathan Schroeder’s 11th birthday, or I may never have experienced one of my favorite musicals of all time. The great thing about this movie is you can make a case for it to be watched twice a year (not that I need the actual corresponding holiday to watch any movie on my list). Every time I see Nightmare I’m amazed by the quality of the music, the amount of heart, and the astounding production design. I would never have the patience to do stop motion, but thank goodness for people who do.

3. Die Hard

Nothing says Christmas cheer like mowing down Eurotrash terrorist with a machine gun. Every holiday should have one kick-ass action movie. The Fourth of July has Independence Day, Halloween has every horror movie ever made and even Easter has Passion II: The Reckoning. It’s nice to see someone in a Santa hat crack some sculls. Before I ever realized Die Hard was a Christmas movie, I knew it was one of the greatest things I’d ever seen. It takes me back to the days of watching the Sunday night movie on network TV with my dad and being allowed to stay up an hour past my bed time to watch a heavily-edited version of yuletide mayhem.

2. The Muppet Christmas Carol

Can you love the Muppets enough? Not in my book. The Christmas Carol is one of my favorite stories, and, Lord knows, the Muppets are my favorite actors (they’re real), so it stands to reason that pairing the two would be pure holiday bliss. Fans of the book will have to agree that, apart from Bob Cratchet being a frog married to a pig, this is one of the most faithful adaptations of Dickens’ classic. With plenty of Muppet humor to spare, this movie is required holiday viewing. 

1. Home Alone

I’m just a sucker for people getting hit in the balls, what can I say? Growing up, this was THE Christmas movie. November, December, July—it didn’t matter when, our Home Alone VHS was going in the VCR. Kevin McAllister was like a folk hero to us kids. He went to the store, decorated the house himself, and came damn close to fatally injuring two grown men. I was terrified of burglars as a little kid, but this movie helped me calm my fears by convincing myself that A.) they would be lovable misfits like Marv and Harry and B.) I could easily outwit them with a few well-placed glass bulbs. 

Merry Christmas, everyone!

K